The Curse (1987)

This is definitely one of the worst movies I’ve seen in a long time. It almost starts to venture back into the “so bad it’s good territory”. The basic premise is that a meteor crash lands on a farm and this alien goop seeps into the water, which then starts turning people into acne monsters with zombie-like tendencies.

The only real “talent” involved is Wil Wheaton, better known as Wesley Crusher from TV’s Star Trek: The Next Generation. He’s not that great of an actor, but he at least tries his best. The rest of the cast is mountains of awful. Stiff delivery, bad timing, and no real attempt to be convincing.

Nothing is particularly scary and while there are definitely some goopy scenes, I would not call it “gory”.

The most frightening part is the writing. It took a good portion of the movie to understand the family dynamic on this farm. Wil’s character is this boy who is being picked on all time by a football-loving bully “brother”, but they are not actually related. He is related to his sister (played by his actual sister) and his mother, Frances, who has apparently married the patriarchal farmer evangelical guy, Nathan. I really should not have to spend 30-40 minutes trying to piece this all together. Either tell me flat out or be more convincing in the relationships. At no point did it feel like any of these people were related to each other in any way.

All in all, this was a steaming turd of a movie and not in a good way.


Available to stream on Starz