Vampire In Brooklyn (1995)

This is one mess of a movie. One part horror, one part comedy, one part romance. That’s an awkward combo even when it’s not directed by horror master Wes Craven.

Eddie Murphy plays Maximillian, a vampire who arrives in New York by boat and wants to find his soulmate, a half vampire police detective played by Angela Bassett. It’s like Bram Stoker’s Dracula meets Coming to America.

Let’s start with the obvious problems:

  • Eddie Murphy as a villain – it’s just so unexpected
  • Eddie Murphy’s accent – is it Jamaican? European? What is it?
  • Eddie Murphy’s wig – holy fake hair, Batman!
  • Eddie Murphy’s voice-over – this is not how you tell a story
  • Eddie Murphy plays multiple characters – it’s just what he does!

At no point is it very scary. The characters are boring and don’t give you anything to care about. It starts out fun, then all the blood is sucked out at around the 30-minute mark and it’s just a downward spiral from there. You have two options:

  1. Fall asleep
  2. Spend 45 minutes making popcorn

Rating:

Currently available for streaming on Amazon Prime (DON’T DO IT)