Hey, fry-eater! Do you like your french fries with bland ketchup? Perhaps you dip in mayo (YOU MONSTER).
Your worries are over, because your fries will finally get what they need: the Zing.
Introducing MattBrand Spicy Fry Juice.
Never again will you dip your fries in a tasteless concoction. Try MattBrand Fry Juice.
IT’S GOT ZING!
Hey, you! Do you worry about wearing a fanny pack? Would you like something a little bit more discreet?
Introducing the NEW MattBrand Merkin Fanny Pack.
Keep your junk safe AND discreet!
Hey, old guy! Do your dentures need a work out? How about your jaw?
Well, you’re in luck! Introducing MattBrand Old People Chew Treats. The premium chew treat your mouth craves.
Tastes great, feels great, and leaves your dentures feeling fresher than they were before.
Your choice of Prime Rib or Werther’s Original flavors.
MattBrand Old People Chew Treats. Because what else are old people going to do?
And coming soon: MattBrand Old People Chew Toys.
We are happy to announce that MattBrand Tech Support is up and running. This is a free service that MattBrand feels will help to better everyone who uses it. So, if you are having trouble with things like online, bandwidth, turning it off and on again, or spam filters; click here and MattBrand will help.
MattBrand Tech Support: “If it’s important, you’ll wait.”
Tech Support is currently not working. Dont worry, our technicians are working on it!