This fourth installment of the barely popular Amityville Horror franchise was a made-for-TV movie. It centers on a demonic possessed lamp originally from the Amityville house that causes haunting shenanigans for a family that just moved in with the Golden Girls. This probably should have been a comedy. For a made-for-TV movie, it’s not too bad. It’s not too good either. How hard is…
It’s damn near impossible to follow in the footsteps of Jeff Goldblum as his son, but Eric Stoltz did ok. He gives the right level of oddball stiffness to make it work. I mean, sure, you still want to punch his face (always), but he has the range to play a 5-year-old genetic abnormality genius as well as a nasty, falling apart fly monster.…
You can’t ever go wrong when the cast includes Seth Green and Clint Howard. Add in some giant mutated tick creatures gooping around and sucking blood from anything that has a pulse. This is an awful early 90s “when animals attack” creature horror flick, but I still kind of enjoyed it for its absurdity. It doesn’t quite have the horror/comedy balance of Army of…
I’m a simple man who likes simple things. Give me a good story with good characters and throw in some Ethan Hawke and I’m there. This is very close to modern horror perfection in that it’s an interesting story with realistic elements that in some ways echoes the spookier side of The Silence of the Lambs. With hints of the supernatural, it never gets…
This is the kind of surreal, avant garde stuff I love. It’s a movie about a killer tire named Robert with psychokinetic powers. He comes to life in the desert and goes on homicidal adventures, mainly because he gets pissed off when things aren’t going his way. As if that isn’t quite enough, there is a movie-in-a-movie aspect where an audience with binoculars is…
This is the perfect slowburn of mystery, tension, and psychological terror. On the surface, it seems like a simple grieving widow-goes-nuts story. Beth just lost her husband to suicide and is haunted by something supernatural that may or may not be her dead husband. There were several good jump scares and plenty of scenes that made my skin crawl. My skin doesn’t just crawl…
The mid-2000s were overloaded with teen horror garbage from the aftermath of Scream's success in the late 90s. This movie is no exception, though it's kind of surreal at times. At least most of the cast can actually pass for teenagers. The plot centers around some prep school idiots who concoct a mass email to their whole school about a made-up serial killer for…
It’s like a fine onion where you keep peeling back the layers and it gets more pungent and grotesque the deeper it goes. But it’s got actual characters and a coherent story, which is rather surprising for a late-stage Hellraiser movie. Riley is the main character and her brother, Matt, goes missing after getting cut by the puzzle box thingy. How deep into hell…
Bill Paxton is always amazing and this is no exception. I know this isn’t a great film, but I really liked this movie for its simple premise and psychological back and forth of Bill Paxton’s downward spiral. You just can’t tell whether the main character is going nuts or really being haunted by a scary homeless guy. This is one of those rare movies…
All work and no play make Dave a dull boy. What could have been a fun and goofy rock band horror flick, ends up being this excessively long yawn fest. None of the band members can act. Nothing was ever that scary. A lot of the jokes fell flat. The bad editing kept shots lingering for too long. I just wanted it to be…
