Power rankings system devised and compiled weekly by Stemshul. “Expert” analysis by paradroid.

Holy crap in a pita! That was the best weekend of football games I’ve ever seen! Let’s go in order, as they got progressively better as the weekend went on. First up was the Cincinnati/Tennessee game. It was a tight, defensive struggle all game long (Tenessee managed nine sacks against Burrow for 68 yards lost and Cincinnati came up with three interceptions against Tannehill), but when the Bengals punted with less than three minutes on the clock (after sacks eight and nine), it looked like the Titans were in the driver’s seat. Then came interception number three at the Cincy 47, and suddenly the Bengals were in control. One 19 yard completion from Joe Burrow to Ja’Marr Chase and the Bengals were in field goal range. The field goal attempt passed through the uprights as time expired and the top seed in the AFC was out just like that. That Chase selection at #5 this year was much derided at the time. Most thought they should have taken Penei Sewell (and maybe they were right, because NINE SACKS!), but the choice of Burrow’s college teammate certainly worked out as well. Chase was the best rookie receiver in a stacked class and now the Bengals are playing with house money, having already far exceeded all expectations. The real question in the wake of this game is whether the Titans need to move on from Ryan Tannehill. That last interception was brutal; you just can’t make that throw in that situation.

Up next was the Packers/49ers, and this was arguably the least interesting game due to the lack of scoring, but I enjoyed seeing Green Bay and Captain Technically I Didn’t Lie lose, both as a Lions fan and someone who is awfully tired of anti-vaxxers. The Pack came out strong, with a 10 play 69 yard drive for a touchdown. But the drives that followed ended, in order, like this: fumble, punt, punt, punt, blocked field goal, punt, field goal (yay!), blocked punt returned for a touchdown, and (finally) punt. That’s a turnover, five punts, two huge special teams mistakes, and three measly points in the nine drives after that first TD. San Francisco wasn’t much better, and Jimmy G did have one bad interception, but S.F. make the big plays they needed to. Pornstar Jimmy’s stats were pedestrian at best (11-19 for 131 yards and an interception), but he’s now 45-18 as a starter and has been to as many Super Bowls as Aaron Rodgers. Are we sure he’s not secretly a top ten QB?

Now we’re on to Sunday, and the Rams/Buccaneers was the first game on the slate. L.A. roared out to a 20-3 halftime lead and made it 27-3 midway through the 3rd. Then Brady turned on that Super Bowl LI magic to bring the Bucs all the way back to tie the game with 42 seconds left. Most people figured we were headed to overtime, but Detroit fans know there’s literally nobody better in these situations than Matthew Stafford. He’s had more 4th quarter comebacks than anybody since he came into the league, and he did it one more time. While I love aggressiveness from a defense in most situations and nothing makes Stemshul angrier than prevent defense, I can’t believe Todd Bowles blitzed on what turned out to be a 44 yard completion to Cooper Kupp. The Rams, with a competence the Cowboys can only dream of, rushed up and spiked the ball with six seconds left, and won it on a chip shot field goal with zeroes on the clock (that’s three game winning field goals in a row to start the weekend, in case you were keeping track). While it would have been fun to see Brady go for ring number eight, it was nice to see Stafford get another playoff win. Most people in Detroit don’t blame him for the lack of playoff wins in his time here (at least not entirely), and I am happy to see him succeed, harboring no hard feelings at all at his success this year.

And we saved the best for last, as Kansas City and Buffalo delivered my favorite playoff game of all time. You just need to go watch the highlights, a description does not do it justice. The teams combined for 25 points in the last 2 minutes and 30 seconds of the game, and the only blemish on this masterpiece is that we never got to see Buffalo’s offense take the field in overtime, as K.C. marched right down the field and scored a touchdown on the first drive. Like many people, I was a little displeased by the ending. I think we need different rules for O.T. in the playoffs. My suggestion is a full 10 minute overtime period, followed by a second overtime period that is both un-timed and sudden death. So you play ten minutes and if one team is ahead, the game is over. If it’s still tied, the next score wins. Each team is all but guaranteed to get an offensive possession, but once the second overtime starts (if it is even needed), the game should wrap up pretty quickly. Yes, football shouldn’t be played for an indefinite period, so let’s leave the regular season as it is. But in the playoffs, a coin flip shouldn’t carry as much weight as it does under the current system. Stemshul’s picks are coming soon, and so is the Super Bowl. Just three games left this year. Let’s hope they’re half as good as the four we just got.

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