Power rankings system devised and compiled weekly by Stemshul. “Expert” analysis by paradroid.

Another week in bizarro world NFL, where nobody is actually good, unless maybe they are, but no, they can’t be after losing that game. The Titans, minus their most important player, are sitting pretty at numero uno. Dallas and Buffalo both bounced back from abysmal performances last week to win big against Atlanta and the Jets respectively. So maybe they are actually good? Maybe? Cleveland looked like it may have righted the ship last week against Cincinnati and the Odell Beckham, Jr. situation resolved, but they neglected to show up against the Patriots in a 45-3 loss. If somebody could explain what’s going on in the AFC North in general, I’d love to know. After a strong 5-2 start, the Bengals, they of the Cleveland 41-16 blowout (gulp!), preceded that performance with a 34-31 failure against the Jets (double gulp!). Baltimore, who needed a last second record setting 66 yard field goal against the Lions, lost a few weeks ago to the Bengals 41-17. And last week they lost 22-10 to the Dolphins. But they’re still in first at 6-3. Last place? The Browns at 5-5. Definitely still up for grabs among all 4 teams. The Steelers, second at 5-3-1, “earned” that tie against the Lions last week. Which brings us to Detroit.

Well, no 0-17 this year at least. Emphasis on “least”. Detroit, on a rainy day with a quarterback who struggles enough in perfect conditions, perhaps wisely largely abandoned the passing game in favor of the run. The Lions only passed the ball 25 times in 4 quarters plus overtime and ran it 39 times. The 229 yards from the rushing attack was great to see, but less encouraging was the 114 yards passing and the placekicking by Ryan Santoso. To be fair, the conditions were poor. But the game could have been won before overtime began if he doesn’t miss that extra point in the 3rd quarter. And they definitely could have won if he doesn’t miss a game winning 48 yard field goal during overtime. But the conditions were poor, you might say. How could ANYONE make a 48 yard field goal? Ok, sure, except Chris Boswell hit a 51 yarder for Pittsburgh to put the game into overtime with 3 minutes left. Plus, “miss” doesn’t quite do justice to the quality of the attempt. I was convinced it must have been blocked, but the replay showed it was definitely not. The ball barely made it to the end zone. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the Lions signed a kicker off New England’s practice squad this week as well as adding another to their own practice squad. Also notable is that David Blough, the backup for Goff, is getting first team reps this week. So we may see a change at QB next week, or maybe just a short leash for the current starter. This year may be cursed for the Lions. They somehow ran for over 200 yards and created 3 turnovers while giving up zero themselves against a backup quarterback, but still couldn’t come up with a win. Up next is the Browns, so who knows? Maybe the bad version takes the field and the Lions can get that first win. Or maybe it will be a repeat of the Eagles game. I suspect the latter is more likely.

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