A group of escaped prisoners take two women hostage and proceed to drive their car into a mineshaft. They must go deeper into the mine in an attempt to find a way out, but something old and crusty is lurking down there. I'm not going over there. This movie was so close to being a schlocky horror masterpiece. It's right on the edge, but…
Power rankings system devised and compiled weekly by Stemshul. “Expert” analysis by paradroid. Week 7 is here and it's time to talk rankings! We've ditched the S+ category because the 49ers looked decidedly un-S+ this week. So we have a three team S tier with San Francisco, Kansas City, and Detroit. More on Detroit later, but let's look at a team who's doing surprisingly…
I heard lots of good things about this movie, but I think they were all lies. Not really. There is some fun to be had, but it's not exactly the most coherent story. The two main characters are a husband and wife having marital issues due to growing apart and infidelity. They both descend into their own type of madness with horrific results including…
Yesterday we took a look at who will be making the playoffs in the AFC. And, as promised, today we are going to look at the NFC. NFC East - Philadelphia EaglesThe East has two teams that have a chance at making the playoffs this year. (Sorry Washington, its not you.) With the exception of the 49ers, the Cowboys have had a pretty easy…
Camilla Belle plays Jill the babysitter in this remake of the 1979 classic of the same name. She's just taking care of some sleeping kids for some rich people at their fancy pants remote mansion when calls from a strange guy start coming in. At first, she just brushes it off, but as the calls continue, the stranger appears to know things as if…
Its very early in the season. Most teams are six games in. Needless to say, nothing is set in stone. But I wanna take a look at who I think will win each of the divisions. AFC East - Buffalo BillsThe Bills are currently a game behind the Dolphins but have the head to head tiebreaker. Miami is a good team, dont get me…
This is an awful movie, but it's the kind of trash B-movie that I tend to like. The plot follows two idiot brothers who own and maintain a diner. They resurrect their dead uncle as a brain with eyes in a bottle to help them perform rituals to raise some Lumerian demon called Sheetar. The process involves putting together a female body from parts…
A romantic camping getaway at a lake turns messy for a woman and her boyfriend when they encounter a group of shithead teens. Things progressively escalate as the group of ruffians steal their car and the Michael Fassbender boyfriend accidentally kills the group leader's dog. There were several tense scenes and some gross out wounds. I was pleasantly surprised when it never went the…
This is like Koyaanisqatsi directed by David Lynch. There is no denying the artistic quality of the visuals and sound. Primarily stop motion animation, the movie takes you to a hellish underworld as a gas masked character must deliver a suitcase full of dynamite somewhere for some reason. I can't really begin to know what the hell is going on in this movie as…
Talk about the worst vacation ever. Alexander Skarsgård plays James, a writer with his wife at a remote resort in a strange fictional country called Li Tolqa. They are told not to leave the resort compound, but go on a scenic picnic with another couple anyway. On the way back, James runs over and kills a local, which triggers the law getting involved and…
