This is the most absurd premise and I love it. Some girls at a sorority house decide to adopt a homicidal sloth as their mascot. Hilarity ensues. Slowly. The movie fully understands how ridiculous it is, and then leans into it a bit more. To the point where they have the sloth doing human things like browsing social media on a laptop. Even some…
A group of escaped prisoners take two women hostage and proceed to drive their car into a mineshaft. They must go deeper into the mine in an attempt to find a way out, but something old and crusty is lurking down there. I'm not going over there. This movie was so close to being a schlocky horror masterpiece. It's right on the edge, but…
I heard lots of good things about this movie, but I think they were all lies. Not really. There is some fun to be had, but it's not exactly the most coherent story. The two main characters are a husband and wife having marital issues due to growing apart and infidelity. They both descend into their own type of madness with horrific results including…
Camilla Belle plays Jill the babysitter in this remake of the 1979 classic of the same name. She's just taking care of some sleeping kids for some rich people at their fancy pants remote mansion when calls from a strange guy start coming in. At first, she just brushes it off, but as the calls continue, the stranger appears to know things as if…
This is an awful movie, but it's the kind of trash B-movie that I tend to like. The plot follows two idiot brothers who own and maintain a diner. They resurrect their dead uncle as a brain with eyes in a bottle to help them perform rituals to raise some Lumerian demon called Sheetar. The process involves putting together a female body from parts…
A romantic camping getaway at a lake turns messy for a woman and her boyfriend when they encounter a group of shithead teens. Things progressively escalate as the group of ruffians steal their car and the Michael Fassbender boyfriend accidentally kills the group leader's dog. There were several tense scenes and some gross out wounds. I was pleasantly surprised when it never went the…
This is like Koyaanisqatsi directed by David Lynch. There is no denying the artistic quality of the visuals and sound. Primarily stop motion animation, the movie takes you to a hellish underworld as a gas masked character must deliver a suitcase full of dynamite somewhere for some reason. I can't really begin to know what the hell is going on in this movie as…
Talk about the worst vacation ever. Alexander Skarsgård plays James, a writer with his wife at a remote resort in a strange fictional country called Li Tolqa. They are told not to leave the resort compound, but go on a scenic picnic with another couple anyway. On the way back, James runs over and kills a local, which triggers the law getting involved and…
The sequel to the gut-busting 2016 movie Terrifier goes a bit too far on just about every front, particularly the run time (138 mins!) and extended kill sequences that are brutal and overstay their welcome. Even though I didn't particularly love the first movie, I was looking forward to this one to see where it went and how it improved on the first outing.…
This movie was like watching poop dry. This movie was like the Where's Waldo? of horror movies. This movie was directed by Lavid Dynch. This movie's $15k budget was too high. This movie would have been better with Mark Wahlberg. Rating:
