Halloween II (2009)

Rob Zombie returns to the world of Michael Myers in this sequel to his 2007 Halloween remake. Laurie Strode (Scout Taylor-Compton) survived and is now plagued by the pain of all the trauma she endured. Not to mention being the sister of a psychopath. Michael also survived and is biding his time before making his move on Halloween night. He grew a beard in…

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The Watcher in the Woods (1980)

After about 20 minutes, I kind of wished I hadn't picked this movie to review. After the 1 hour and 20 minute runtime, I really wished this movie didn't exist. At least I got a little cat nap in there. The movie is made by Disney, so you know it's not going to be suspenseful or have any gore whatsoever. I had hoped it…

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The Slayer (1982)

An artist, Kay, travels to a very secluded island with her husband, brother, and brother's wife. As a hurricane hits, they cannot leave the island and bad things start happening. Due to Kay's vivid nightmares, she's not sure what is real and dangerous vs. what is part of her imagination. The movie was very close to being something worthy of your time, but failed…

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Opera (1987)

I've always had a soft spot for Italian horror (a.k.a. giallo slasher) and world-renowned writer/director Dario Argento in particular. Not all his films are winners, but he has a real knack for setting up great shots and bringing all the elements together. He's particularly good at crafting unsettling visuals in addition to matching interesting music to fit the scenes. The story is pretty simple:…

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Hospital Massacre (1981)

This is an early 80s slasher where a woman named Susan goes to a hospital for test results, but ends up getting admitted and sequestered as her past comes back to haunt her. A childhood admirer fakes some test results to keep her in the hospital and then proceeds to kill various hospital workers with the ultimate intent of killing Susan. The pacing is…

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The Burning (1981)

As far as Friday the 13th rip-offs go, this one is not that bad. Apparently, summer camp was the deadliest setting for carnage in the 1980s. This movie has a villain named Cropsy, a camp caretaker who was horribly disfigured from a fire accidentally started by a prank gone wrong. Those pesky campers! Flash forward five years and a new round of snot-nosed campers…

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Stay Alive (2006)

Playing video games can be deadly! A beta tester plays an unreleased video game and ends up dying mysteriously in the same way his character died in the video game. It's up to his friend, Hutch, to play the game and find out the truth of what happened. Hutch recruits some of his gamer buddies to assist (including Malcolm in the Middle's Frankie Muniz).…

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Spiral (2021)

I'm going to preface this review by saying that the first Saw movie was not bad, but the sequels tended to get progressively worse. I'm not really into torture porn horror, because it seems to miss the point of why horror is an interesting genre. Just mutilating people alone isn't worthy of my time. What I'm looking for are things like interesting characters, societal…

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Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022)

A group of friends get together at a remote mansion to ride out a hurricane. After getting bored with drugs, drinking, and dancing, they decide to play a murder mystery type game called "Bodies Bodies Bodies". It's all fun and games until one of them turns up dead and everyone is a suspect. SNL's Pete Davidson and Borat's daughter Maria Bakalova are the notable…

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