Power rankings system devised and compiled weekly by Stemshul. “Expert” analysis by paradroid.

For lucky number 13, let’s decide who has the best division in football. The best is almost certainly one of the Easts. If you like overall winning percentage, the NFC is rocking a 32-13 record, good for .711, whereas the AFC is at 29-15 (.659). If you like point differential, the AFC East is at +207, while the NFC East checks in at +169. Somewhat surprisingly, there are two teams in that division with a negative differential. If you like our metrics, the advantage trends towards the NFC (1379 total Power Rankings points accumulated and an average position of 7.5. The AFC lags a bit behind with 1147 total points and an average position of 8.25. It’s difficult to say who has the best team, but I’m certain it’s one of the Bills, Eagles, or Cowboys (slight advantage to the NFC). I’d say the worst team is one of the Patriots, Giants, or Commanders (slight advantage AFC).

So who’s the best? It’s hard to choose rationally at this point, so I’ll irrationally vote against the NFC East. Why? I just don’t like these teams very much. I think they get a disproportionate amount of coverage and T.V. time (especially in night games) because they have the most “tradition”. Plus, I can think of a good reason or two to dislike each team. For example, Dallas is owned by Jerry Jones, who, in the grand tradition of old rich guys, thinks he knows best about everything even areas outside his expertise, like being a G.M. You could argue the same about most NFL owners, but he’s the only one who makes ALL the football decisions. How many Super Bowls have they been to since he took over personnel decisions? Two, but the last one was 27 years ago. Pretty good job security for an NFL G.M. Plus, there’s this. Yes, he made some conciliatory comments afterwards and took a knee with the team before (not during) the national anthem once. But there’s also this. He was 14 and says he was only curious and didn’t know how important it was. Maybe, although the Washington Post article is a little more damning. And the Cowboys have never hired a non-white coach, also damning (sadly, neither have 12 other franchises, including the Bills, Dolphins, Commanders, and Giants). And finally, Dallas sports Stemshul’s least favorite uniforms (he mostly objects to the 17 shades of grey).

The Giants made me watch Eli Manning for over a decade, one of the least interesting “good” quarterbacks ever. I’ll even grant you that he had his moments, but I swear, if we put him in the Hall of Fame…oh, wait, we definitely will. He won two Super Bowls, so he’s in. Better than Marino, probably. The Commanders have an owner who’s probably even worse than Jerry Jones in Dan Snyder. There’s the whole refused to change the nickname thing, his inability to either improve the current stradium (which is crumbling, sometimes literally) or build a new one, the hostile workplace for women scandal, and the refused to appear before Congress by hiding on his giant yacht out on the ocean (classic rich dude behavior). He’s a cartoon villain, but at least he’s selling the team. As for Philly? Well, their fans are so miserable that they hate Santa. For all those reasons, I declare the AFC East the best division in the league, at least for now.

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