NFL Power Rankings – Week 14

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Power rankings system devised and compiled weekly by Stemshul. “Expert” analysis by paradroid.

Nothing but intelligent analysis comes from this couch.

Another week gone in the NFL and order was (somewhat) restored. Except for in the Lions game, but we’ll get to that in a bit. The Rams (#9) and the Cowboys (#5) bounced back from tough stretches with wins. Arizona and Tampa Bay, our top two, kept the ball rolling. As did the #4 Chiefs, although for some reason Kansas City is now a defense first team with a decent but non-explosive offense, kind of like a traditional Baltimore Ravens team. Speaking of which, the Nevermores went for two with zeros on the clock down one against the Steelers. The throw to the tight end was just out of reach. The consensus on the big couch was that we loved the move, but did not love the play call. Pressure from the Steelers forced an adjustment from Lamar Jackson before making the doomed pass. Although a better pass gives the fightin’ Poes a victory, Lamar Jackson is not the world’s most accurate QB. Stemshul wanted a QB sneak; I wanted a designed roll out. Both options force the defense to take into account his greaters strength: his ability to run. Regardless, a coach who is much smarted than us went with the quick hitter to the tight end and it did not work.

“Jesus freaks and candy asses.” This guy remembers when times were “better.”

The other game that caught my attention was Monday night’s extra windy affair in Buffalo between the Bills and Patriots. While neither team excelled in the passing game, N.E. really committed to the run. When I checked the box score in the 4th, the Patriots had attempted exactly one pass. One Pass. In the 4th quarter. It was like we were transported back to the forties, when everything was great, men were men, and passing was for commies and candy-asses. I kind of thought the box score had to be incorrect, but Mac Jones’ final line was in fact 2-3 for 19 yards (and a nifty 84.0 passer rating!). The Patriots ran 46 times for 222 yards and (I can only assume) walked home to Foxborough through 10 feet of snow in a blizzard with a very manly victory.

And finally, huge relief was felt in Detroit as a winless season is off the table. The Lion’s looked like they were going to lose it again after playing pretty well, but a fourth down failure may have given them a chance at their first win in 364 days, which they absolutely took. The attempt in question was on their second to last drive, and while it gave the Vikings the ball deep in Lions’ territory with time running out in the 4th quarter, it happened just early enough for Detroit to get the ball back after a Minnesota touchdown with about 2 minutes left. You had to think the Vikings were pretty confident at this point, because, well, Goff and the Lions, but a flawless two minute drill (with no timeouts!) is what Jared produced. This time it was the Lions scoring with no time left on the clock after losing three times this year in that exact same way. Shoe firmly on other foot, and it was pretty great. WR Josh Reynolds has some good chemistry with Goff and is giving Detroit a deep threat at last. The receivers as a whole really showed up in this game, and with the addition of a #1 pass catcher (draft? free agency?), they might be onto something. It was the first time since opening day’s furious comeback in a loss against the 49ers that I had a little hope in ol’ Jared. If we could see more of this the rest of the year, that would be great! Still in dead last in the rankings, but I don’t care. Victory!

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