Power rankings system devised and compiled weekly by Stemshul. “Expert” analysis by paradroid.
Welcome to Week 9! We have a new wrinkle in the very secret formula for our power rankings: points scored and allowed are now factored in! The Stemshul behind the curtain may or may not at some point explain exactly how this applied to the teeming horde of curious readers, but the decision was made to increase the scores by a factor of 10 (some people in positions of power here hate decimals as if they were apostrophes). So the Eagles didn’t score 363 points last week because they were effectively at 250 coming in. Don’t worry, it all makes sense. We’re thinking of you, dear readers, in our constant efforts to improve the quality of the product.
Now, to football. Philadelphia has a new New York S-tier buddy, Buffalo. The Bills took care of a suddenly poor Green Bay team (#18 in our rankings), who are now 3.5 games behind the Vikings. It’s starting to look like sneaking into the wildcard is their best shot at the playoffs this year. Aaron Rodgers and Tampa’s Tom Brady (the Buccaneers are #24) are starting to look like their years of borrowing from Father Time may be coming to an end. They are both having good statistical years, although maybe not by their own lofty standards. You’d normally be pretty pleased with 66.4% completion rate, 13-4 TD-INT rate, and a 94.5 rating (Rodgers) or 65.9% completion rate, 9-1 TD-INT, and a 92.4 rating (Brady). But the reality is that their offenses are struggling.
A clue as to why can be found in their yards per pass attempt. Brady is 22nd at 6.7 YPPA and Rodgers is even worse (24th at 6.6). Career, Brady is at 7.4 and Rodgers is at 7.7. The result is the Bucs are averaging 18.3 PPG, only 25th in the league, and the Pack have only mustered 18.1 PPG (26th). Both teams are just one game behind the 49ers (#13) for the last NFC berth, and although our rankings suggest the Packers are the superior team, the Cheeseheads are in a division with a decent team (the Vikes, #3), whereas the Buccaneers are only a game behind Atlanta (#17) in a division which also features the #25 Saints and the #31 Panthers. Plus, Tom (Meechigan) Brady hasn’t missed the playoffs in a season his knee didn’t explode since 2002. He’s also 45. They both have work to do.
Lions watch: I don’t advise it. Ha Ha, super funny. I’m really, really enjoying this season with the Lions. Sigh. Detroit lost control of a game they had well in hand (well in hand is concept a true Lions fan doesn’t believe in, having witnessed too many defeats snatched from the jaws of victory) thanks to their sieve of a secondary (Tua went 29-36 for 382 yards and three touchdowns). Defensive backs coach Aubrey Pleasant lost his job, and maybe his replacement will do better. There’s a little talent back there, but they need to maximize that talent in order to find success. They mostly haven’t this year. In other news, T.J. Hockenson got traded to Minnesota for improved draft picks. The positive view of this move would be that he needed to get paid next year, and his production, while good, wasn’t elite and, due to frequent injuries, wasn’t consistent. He didn’t really become a great NFL blocker either, so maybe they wanted to wait and use a cheaper option, especially since the wide receiver room is greatly improved, making a good TE less vital. Cheap young players, which they can draft, are necessary to pair with expensive vets on a winning team. You know, whenever it is that Detroit is ready to be good. My emotional response is that he was often really fun to watch, and being patient for some vague future we haven’t yet experienced isn’t much comfort after over 30 years without a playoff win. It can be hard to find good players, and Hockenson is a good player. Our best hope is landing a franchise QB in next year’s draft (we look like a lottery team and there are much better QB prospects this year), because worrying about tight ends when you aren’t sold on the QB is kind of pointless.
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