When a tsunami traps a bunch of wankers in a grocery store, things take a horrific turn when a blood-thirsty shark comes to do a little shopping at the human meat market. After Piranha 3D was a hit in 2010, there was a rush to make aquatic horror movies in an attempt to cash in on the popular sub-genre. Except that Piranha 3D was…
This is one of those horror movies that tries really hard to be witty and smart, by paying homage to and poking fun at some of the common horror themes. In the end, though, it doesn't really succeed at much of anything. The main character is Maggie, a film student whose dreams about a fiery accident give clues about a past that may be…
Holy crap. This is like striking gold. Demon Wind is the kind of horror movie that gives immense pleasure from all the ways it both succeeds and fails without actually trying. The premise is fairly basic: a group of college age friends must fight demons to stay alive in a remote cabin-like setting. It draws heavily from the likes of Evil Dead and Night…
This movie was awesome when it first came out, and surprisingly it stands the test of time (mostly). The premise is simple: a ship and its crew are sent to a remote location near Neptune to search for a space exploration ship called "Event Horizon" that went missing for seven years. The crew is accompanied by Dr. Weir (played by Sam Neill), the guy…
Oh, Peter Billingsley. Little Ralphie from A Christmas Story plays Billy, a kid who is on a road trip with his mom and mom's boyfriend. While at a stop on the way through Death Valley, Billy stumbles upon a fresh murder scene. Being the oblivious child that he is, he bypasses the dead bodies and picks up (steals) a small frog necklace. It turns…
Dina Meyer is a bat scientist and Lou Diamond Phillips is sheriff bad ass. They join forces when genetically-modified bats start terrorizing a small town in Texas. Can they outsmart these bats before it is too late? Honestly, just let the government nuke the town. Wowy wow wow. This one reeks of bat guano. The story is the most formulaic you can get. The…
Chucky is back in the reboot no one wanted. Instead of a serial killer-possessed doll, he's a robotic companion doll for kids without any safety protocols. Aubrey Plaza plays the mother who brings home the defective doll to her son Andy. Mark Hamill is the voice of Chucky. I liked the technology update and parts were OK, but it felt like it was something…
A group of college kids on vacation get a flat tire and one of them goes missing trying to get it fixed. As the others search for him, they have car trouble and come across a weirdo who owns a waxwork/mannequin museum. The weirdo offers to help them fix their car, but you know it's too good to be true. A masked killer starts…
From cinematic master John Carpenter comes this Stephen King-esque movie about kids with glowing eyes and special psychic killing powers. After a strange event leaves most of a small town unconscious for six hours, an alarming number of women are suddenly pregnant after waking from the "blackout." The babies are all born in a short time and develop faster than normal children. As the…
I've always had a soft spot for the little murder doll, Chucky. The premise has always been slightly creepy and monumentally absurd. But, hey, just roll with it. I rather like this installment because of how campy and over-the-top it is. Having come out 7 years after the third Child's Play movie, it had to essentially reboot the franchise to keep things fresh. It…
