I’ve always had a soft spot for the little murder doll, Chucky. The premise has always been slightly creepy and monumentally absurd. But, hey, just roll with it.

I rather like this installment because of how campy and over-the-top it is. Having come out 7 years after the third Child’s Play movie, it had to essentially reboot the franchise to keep things fresh. It happened to come out at the perfect time when the teen horror genre was gaining popularity due to the Scream movies.

The plot follows Chucky’s real life girlfriend, Tiffany (played by Jennifer Tilly), from before his soul was transferred to the doll. She gains possession of the busted up Chucky parts and puts him all back together, so she can perform the ritual to bring him back to life. Once he’s back, the killing begins and he eventually kills Tiffany and transfers her soul to a female doll (Spoiler Alert!). They become the Bonnie and Clyde of murder dolls.

Rounding out the cast, it’s got Katherine Heigl and John Ritter, who both are great in their own ways. Ritter is the extremely overprotective uncle to Heigl’s angst-filled teen with the ‘bad boy’ boyfriend.

After some inventive deaths, there is a big showdown at the end with a little twist. The very end has a nice little lead-in to the next movie. You can’t keep a good doll down. Ha ha ha ha ha (Chucky cackle).

Rating:

Available to stream on: Starz (subscription required)

The third in the franchise about the murderous hillbilly cannibal family from Texas. This one returned to the grittier roots of the first movie, and abandoned the campy tone of the second one. Though, there is still a little bit of camp (and we welcome it).

The story follows Michelle and Ryan (human fodder), a couple who are travelling through Texas on the way to Florida from L.A. The two have zero chemistry and after stopping at a creepy gas station, they find themselves on a horrific roller coaster ride through backwoods Texas.

After being stalked, they wreck their car and are kidnapped by the cannibalistic Sawyer family. Ryan is designated as dinner and Michelle is nailed to a chair for later (dessert, perhaps?).

Viggo Mortensen plays Tex, one of the psychotic Sawyer clan. Of course, there’s “Junior” (Leatherface) who wears a mask made out of human skin and likes to play with chainsaws. There was a comical scene where “Junior” is told by his mother he must do his studies. The next scene he’s in his little rec room of horrors, playing with one of those late 80s children’s computer word games. The picture shows a clown and he keeps spelling F-O-O-D and the game tells him it’s wrong. W-T-F? But also H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S.

Ken Foree of Dawn of the Dead fame, plays a survivalist who rescues Michelle in the nick of time. He’s the hero we need, but do not deserve.

After it’s over, it seems like it was not really fleshed out, but for movies like these, it’s usually better if it is over faster.

Rating:

In 1999, there was a fun little movie called “House on Haunted Hill” that was a remake of the 1959 Vincent Price movie. This movie is the 2007 direct-to-video sequel to the 1999 movie.

Let me start by asking the question: “Has there ever been a good direct-to-video movie?” The answer is that most times the movie is dog shit and releasing to video is the last ditch effort to make money off of it.

The plot is absurd. The sister of the girl who survived the first movie is kidnapped to help some asshat art dealer find an artifact in the haunted asylum house. What?

The cast is C-grade awfulness and had me yearning for a return of Chris Kattan from the first movie as a ghost or something.

Even though this is classified as horror/suspense, there was nothing scary about it, because I don’t care about the characters or the situations they are placed into.

Rating:

Where to watch online: Starz (with subscription)

Based on the 1955 novel by Jack Finney, a planet-wide alien takeover begins on the down low by replacing people with emotionless clones grown in pods as the people sleep at night.

Teenage girl, Marti, moves to a military base with her family, makes friends with a rebellious Army brat, and finds an unlikely love interest in the form of a hunky chopper pilot. Then she uncovers the alien takeover and she must do anything to survive and maintain her human anatomy autonomy.

I liked the juxtaposition of the alien hive mind with the military. I think it was trying to give social commentary to the mindlessness of following orders, but it wasn’t successful at much of anything including delivering any kind of socially relevant message.

The cast included Gabrielle Anwar, Meg Tilly, R. Lee Ermey, and Forest Whitaker. The performances were as expected for a horror/sci-fi film about pod people, but could have been better. It really felt like the actors half-assed their way through this one.

I think the 1978 version of this story was a bit better with regard to suspense and story structure. This updated version lost the gravity of the extraordinary events and just left me feeling like: “Meh, I’m ’bout to forget all of this in 5 minutes.”

Rating:

The Bucs came through with a huge upset on the Rams to move up 10 spots. The Chiefs snuck past my Lions, in what may have been the game of the week, to hold onto the number one spot. The 6 winless teams and the Falcons are fighting feverishly for last place.

RankChangeTeamScoreChangeWinsLossesTies
10Chiefs125400
22Saints943-10
36Patriots85400
4-3Rams703-10
5049ers62300
6-1Lions512-11
6-5Packers5-23-10
8-3Bills403-10
910Buccaneers352-20
93Bears323-10
9-4Cowboys3-13-10
123Seahawks223-10
13-2Texans1-12-20
13-4Vikings1-22-20
154Raiders022-20
153Jaguars012-20
150Giants002-20
184Panthers-122-20
184Browns-122-20
184Eagles-122-20
184Titans-122-20
18-3Chargers-1-12-20
18-6Colts-1-22-20
24-12Ravens-2-32-20
251Steelers-311-30
263Jets-6-10-30
26-7Falcons-6-41-30
281Cardinals-8-30-31
29-3Bengals-9-50-40
29-3Dolphins-9-50-40
310Redskins-10-40-40
310Broncos-10-40-40
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This is the 10th year of attempting the 31 Days of Blood and Gore horror movie review marathon. After about the 7th year, I started to think I would run out of horror movies. Honestly, that’s not possible, because I now have a spreadsheet filled with close to 400 horror movies I’ve never reviewed. Then there is always the possibility of revisiting some of the classics to see how well they hold up over time.

Without further ado, prepare your anus for another wild ride of horror movie mayhem. ‘Tis the season to get scary!

Souper (because soup) easy loaf recipe from the good people at Lipton. (Original Recipe)

Ingredients:

  • 1 envelope Lipton® Recipe Secrets® Onion Soup Mix
  • 2 lbs. ground beef
  • 3/4 cup plain dry bread crumbs*
  • 2 eggs
  • 3/4 cup water
  • 1/3 cup ketchup

Directions

  1. Preheat oven to 350°. Combine all ingredients in large bowl.
  2. Shape into loaf in 13 x 9-inch baking or roasting pan.
  3. Bake uncovered 1 hour or until done. Let stand 10 minutes before serving.

*Substitution for dry bread crumbs: Use 1-1/2 cups fresh bread crumbs or 5 slices fresh bread, cubed.

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Things are starting to take shape now. I think the most interesting thing going on here is the number of undefeated teams (8) and the number of winless teams (7) there still are.

RankChangeTeamScoreChangeWinsLossesTies
11Chiefs74300
11Rams74300
10Packers73300
47Saints542-10
50Lions42201
50Cowboys42300
50Bills42300
5-349ers41300
92Vikings322-10
9-4Patriots31300
119Texans232-10
122Colts112-10
122Bears112-10
12-7Ravens1-12-10
159Giants021-20
15-4Chargers0-11-20
15-10Seahawks0-22-10
1810Jaguars-121-20
19-5Buccaneers-2-21-20
19-5Falcons-2-21-20
19-5Raiders-2-21-20
226Panthers-301-20
22-2Browns-3-21-20
22-2Eagles-3-21-20
22-8Titans-3-31-20
26-2Steelers-4-20-30
26-2Bengals-4-20-30
26-2Dolphins-4-20-30
29-1Jets-5-20-30
29-9Cardinals-5-40-21
311Broncos-6-20-30
31-3Redskins-6-30-30
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The Packers finish week 2 with a perfect score. Broncos have a perfect negative score! Not much else to see. Itll take a few weeks for some separation to start occurring.

RankChangeTeamScoreChangeWinsLossesTies
10Packers43200
2-1Chiefs32200
2-149ers32200
2-1Rams32200
511Lions22101
5-4Bills21200
5-4Patriots21200
5-4Ravens21200
5-4Cowboys21200
5-4Seahawks21200
11-10Chargers101-10
11-10Vikings101-10
11-10Saints101-10
144Colts011-10
144Bears011-10
144Buccaneers011-10
144Falcons011-10
14-13Titans0-11-10
14-13Raiders0-11-10
20-2Browns-101-10
20-2Texans-101-10
20-4Cardinals-1-10-11
20-19Eagles-1-21-10
24-6Dolphins-2-10-20
24-6Bengals-2-10-20
24-6Steelers-2-10-20
24-6Giants-2-10-20
28-10Jets-3-20-20
28-10Jaguars-3-20-20
28-10Redskins-3-20-20
28-10Panthers-3-20-20
32-14Broncos-4-30-20

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